11 May 2012

It's a Paradox..

So after that last amazing post I just did I have realised that I am getting totally off track to what I originally wanted to do with this blog. I really can't say exactly what it was/is that I wanted to do as I have kind of lost myself in getting caught up in the FB drama. And the Psychologist has made me realise that I don't want to be like her. While I can't really remember the original reasoning's, I do know the new one is not to be a hypocrite and get caught up in the Facebook bullshit. And I will fully admit I have done just that. People write about how shit they think it all is. That they don't even care, when clearly they do. They bitch about the people bitching saying how pathetic it is. Yes I see the hypocrisy here. I am guessing they don't. Because they keep on going.
Mostly I find it amusing. Some people I find pathetic. Others not. Either way. I don't want to blog about it. I started this blog before the others and I don't want it to be the same. It has nothing to do with not being able to handle the competition. Because quite frankly there is no competition. Pissing people off with your first posts is not the best way to get a fan base. The only reason people are going to keep going back to that blog is because it is like a train wreck. They'll look because they just wont be able to help themselves but then carry on about how horrible it is. It's just another sheep joining the flock. Couldn't think up something original to blog about so decided to just do their own version of what has already been happening for the past 6 months. They do say intimation is the highest form of flattery though. She can keep the bitchfest. Hey! Maybe my blog will turn into pointing out her hypocrisies. (it wont really, that was just sarcasm)
I am wondering why she didn't blog about herself with the post about what people do to piss people off...she definitely cornered that market today! Anyway just wanted to clear that up while I still can.

I just have one more thing to say about something though. The Cage Group. GASP! Yes I named it! no hiding behind pseudonyms here! Just anonymity :P
Hopefully those that hate the Cage aren't going to hate me for this following post but just understand that we are all entitled to our own opinions. I have been in this group almost from the start and no I don't regularly post in there so it is not a biased opinion either. Just one based on facts of what I have personally witnessed. So don't hate me for it. Or do. I don't care, really. It'll just prove your shallowness if you do ;)
anyway The Cage....seriously, yes at the start I was as mortified as the next person at some of the crap that was being posted in there. I almost left a couple of time because I thought "holy shit these chicks are fucking CRAZY!!" "They can not seriously be like this in real life" o_O <--- yep you guessed it wide eyed and shocked. BUT curiosity got the better of me and I hung out a while longer and I am glad I did! I do still wonder occasionally what drugs some of them might be on, or wonder why certain people have felt the need to post certain aspects of their lives for so many strangers to know about, but what I have come to realise is they do it because they feel comfortable doing it. I myself never would post as much details as what I have seen recently but hey each to their own. They consider each other friends and TRUST each other. They can have a joke. They can disagree, and be ok with it. And the power behind that closeness, even if it is a cyber one, and the friendship with each other has been evident on more than one occasion in the past week. Once when a troll came in and tried to stir up trouble they ALL stood up to her. In any other group only a select few if any would be game enough to speak out against a post of such nature.
One thing I did witness the other day was absolute proof that these women are NOT crazed lunatics that threaten other peoples lives or whatever else it is they are accused of.
One member, who I don't recall seeing before had posted about a personal situation and I have never seen so much compassion and support in ANY other FB group. Not even ones that profess their sole purpose to be support. So many women that don't even know each other in real life sharing beautiful, thoughtful words for one AMAZING mum in a situation no parent should ever have to go through. No one wanted to share that aspect of the group in their bad mouthing did they. This is why I am now. This group is just a group of chicks hanging out having fun. making friends and supporting each other. Even if they don't call it a support page. If you spend enough time in there you'll see it really is :P
As for the language. HAHA those that are getting all twisted up inside about it. Seriously just stop. There is no need for it. If you really do find it that disgraceful then don't read it. Don't put yourself in the situation to be exposed to it. Pretty simple really.
The only reason I can see anymore for anyone getting all riled up about what they say and do is jealously. Jealous that you don't have the closeness that this bunch clearly has. There is an obvious solution to your troubles. Go find a hobby. Get as involved in your own lives as you seem to clearly want to be in others. It's just really sad to keep seeing people complain about other people. If you hate them so much why on earth do you waste so much of your own time and energy on them.
Time to let it go now. Lets all do it together. ok? ok.
YAY! doesn't that feel so much better!?!

So this is it. My final rant surrounding the same old FB drama. I'm not saying I am never going to post about FB lol just a little disclaimer there. I am just not going to keep going around in circles with posts about specific groups and personalities. Hopefully I still find interesting things to blog about! haha!

Make sure you spend some time out side tomorrow and get some fresh air...Its good for you apparently!

Maddy :o

^^ LOL clearly I am not really Maddy....just wanted to stir her up a little :P

We all need a little therapy....apparently..

Our very own resident psychologist that has decided they are the messiah to save us all from ourselves!

With statements such as
"my mission is to fill in some of the gaps between these groups, discuss certain controversial topics, allow members to have a better understanding of what has been said and the context of these discussions, then maybe their opinions of certain people and groups for that matter will be a little less biased."
"what I plan to do is a build the bridge between groups, expose those people who jump from group to group and bad mouth people,  the ones that create drama where drama isn’t found"...... "I do intend to provide enough information for those involved to be able to work out what is going on."

Does anyone else find this a little patronising? Seems we are all apparently so misguided that we actually have no real idea as to what is going on in the Facebook groups we are in. Or worse! we are actually that insanely clueless, that we have no idea that we in fact, had no idea!

Forgive me if I am wrong but I am fairly certain that no matter what is posted in this therapy blog it's not going to change peoples opinions of certain other people. You can psychoanalyze all you like. The fact is the words on Facebook are sometimes written one way and read another. People will read stuff exactly the way they want to read it and interpret it exactly the way they want to. Just as I have read the therapy blog and am now interpreting it. (which by the way seems I am not the only one that has come to some of the same conclusions).

An example of something being written and how it was turned into something else. Some got all twisted up inside about a comment in a group hoping a certain someone would get raped by a baseball bat covered in barb wire. Now when i read that originally I thought "OH DEAR!! that's a little violent." o_O <---(thats me, wide eyed and shocked). But knowing the background of what had happened, after my inital shock and slight disgust I did understand her anger and my commonsense kicks in and tells me that it was a heat of the moment comment. I don't agree with it. I wouldn't ever write such things myself. BUT that doesn't mean I can't be empathetic to her situation and reasoning behind it. Now for those that appear to be lacking in the commonsense department and want to judge this person the entire group based on one comment then you do infact need to take a step back and readjust your knickers. As vile as the comment may have been there was no actual threat.
The definition of threat = "a declaration of an intention or determination to inflict punishment, injury, etc., in retaliation for, or conditionally upon, some action or course"There was no declaration or obvious intent in the words written in that post. Hoping for something is not threatening. And if i remember the post correctly she was big enough to admit that she had gone to far with the wording and rephrased it.

So what we learn from situations as above is princesses need to calm themselves, read the actual words written. Don't read something then change it around to suit a vigilante witch hunt to make others look like some sort of psychopath. Pretty sure we have ALL said dumb shit at some point in our lives.

Anyway, a little off topic ...back to the psychologist...I could easily sit here all night picking apart and questioning bits and pieces of each post. But seeing as though I get easily bored when spending too much time on something here are just some of the things that jumped out at me when I read it.

"expose those people who jump from group to group and bad mouth people,  the ones that create drama where drama isn’t found"
How can people be "exposed" when pseudonyms are used. And if they are actually doing it, going from group to group bad mouthing, then are they not exposing themselves anyways.

"I do intend to provide enough information for those involved to be able to work out what is going on." I'm confused. If they are involved don't they already know what is going on? why do they need an anonymous blogger to recount it for them.
I think this part is one of my favourites "allow members to have a better understanding of what has been said and the context of these discussions" - my bad, I was under the impression that I had my own mind and could easily understand things for myself. After all I do have this rather unique ability to be able to decide if the context didn't make sense then clearly I have missed something so I ignore that post and move along. (this unique ability I like to call commonsense, if your lucky you have it to)

And then we have some contradictions -
First it is the intent to copy and paste discussions from FB into the blog but then the next post it's not about copying and pasting at all but about discussing the personalities of these people. Because you can definitely tell exactly what kind of person someone is from behind a computer screen with only the minimal amount of info they actual give.

Then there is "I’m kinda a silent member,  for a couple of years now I’ve been a member of these types of groups and although I say very little in fact usually nothing at all..." but then " I do not intend to upset the majority, many of who have been of great support to me in the past and I hope will be in the future." - So how do you get great support if you are a silent member.
ok thats all I can be bothered with now. While I can kind of, and I really mean kind of as in can see in a small tiny miniscule way what the attempt is with the therapy blog it has started off with an extremely flawed thought process. I am guessing that is why it went down for a little while and was slightly edited to remove and words that related it to Defence. But guess what?! I can copy and paste too! I have the original posts that state exactly what "workforce" it is in reference to ;)
Even with that minimal change I still think the idea is flawed and from the get go has pretty much got everyone off side. It has made some genuine people now fear posting anything at all due to the fact that their privacy has indirectly been threatened. It is irrelevant if pseudonyms are used as it will not be hard to go into the actual group and figure out what the real name is. And yes i know the groups have been given pseudonyms also. But once the psychoanalyzing really begins its not going to be hard to deduce what group is what and therefore the people involved.

It will be interesting to watch over the coming time to see if it can redeem itself. I don't know how that will be possible but hey you never know!

So lets all lie back on the couch, and let the psychoanalyzing begin. But Really in the grand scheme of things nothing anyone anonymous says will change the original thought of someone no matter how much you think you can "fill in the gaps". Most of these women that get bees in their bonnets about trivial stuff are too stubborn and stupid to ever think they could be wrong about an individual. OH! just remembered another thing while on this subject...The "mission" of our psychologist is to "fill in some of the gaps between these groups, discuss certain controversial topics, allow members to have a better understanding of what has been said and the context of these discussions, then maybe their opinions of certain people and groups for that matter will be a little less biased." BUT dear Psychologist also says "In the time I have personally spent reading these pages I have a list of people in my head to avoid, those who cause trouble, those who complicate things..." hmmmm so Psychologist can have a list of people they want to avoid based solely on what they have read from said people in FB groups but apparently the rest of us need it spelled out to us by Psychologist because clearly we can not deduce the same outcome on our own!. LOL. Seriously. LOL.

Anyway my personal opinion of it all is that it is a serious violation of privacy, respect and common courtesy amongst fellow Defence partners. Not to mention rather insulting in the fact that we are now apparently someones little guinea pigs that they are using to study for their own benefit. Someone correct me if I am wrong but don't you have to agree to be part of a "study"? Little bit disturbing I think. But I will admit that the most recent post has given me a slither of a positive feeling as I do agree with some of the things stated ie bullying. actually thats probably it. Encouraging people to be all PC and follow 'Group Etiquette' seems to me like blog suicide. Without controversial posts and comments the whole point of starting in the first place seems rather futile. Though lucky no one is really going to actually change the way they act save for not acting at all due to the fear of being publicly psychoanalyzed.

One final quote from the Psychologist "Theres always 3 sides to every story, one side, the other side and then there’s the ugly truth, which I hope you will find on my blog" - Um who made you judge, jury and executioner??! what makes your truth the right truth?

OK that is enough from me now. I keep going to finish off and then remember more. I better stop now before I remember anything else and just end up sounding like another ranting raving lunatic. oh. wait. hang on.