25 January 2012

" Remember that silence can sometimes be the best answer. " - Dalai Lama

Well haven't I been riding the slack train for far to long! it's been 2 weeks since I have shared my amazing-ness with you all...how rude of me...I do apologise!

SO! what do I have to write about today? well nothing overly exciting...but still something is better than nothing right??

While sitting here checking out FB talking to some friends I got to thinking about said friends, then about friendship in itself which then led me to of course friendships within Army life. Even just Defence life in general, I figure the same thing occurs with partners in other services and even between services. I have friends that are RAAF wives and Navy wives also, and met them through Facebook!

Whenever I mention my FB Defence wife friends to my husband it usually goes along these lines...

Me - One of my friends blah blah blah....

Him - What friend?

Me - One of my Defence wife friends on Facebook...

Him - OH! one of your 60yr old-pedophile- axe murderer-friends? you do realise that they are not real friends?!

Me - ah, yes they are!

Him - *rolls eyes* O.K :S

So anyways...about these friendships...Some of the lovely ladies I have had as facebook friends for around 3-4 years...they probably know more about me and my life than friends I have had in my life for years. And no its not because I share my entire life on FB, rather because if I do happen to write something about being frustrated or annoyed or angry they are the first ones to ask if I am ok or what can they do to help...They understand, to an extent what I am going through because they are in similar situations themselves. If I write about something awesome, or that I am happy about...they are the first to 'like' it...or tell me how great it is, or how happy for me they are. This to me is what real friendship is about. You don't have to see people in person to be their friend, you don't have to have met someone in person to be a supportive caring friend.

I have met some of these women in person and I am so grateful I have. Partly to prove to the husband that they were not 60yr old-pedophile-axe-murderers! And mostly because, well turns out they really are bloody awesome chicks! Now if it wasn't for Facebook alot of these people I would never have even crossed paths with as we have never been posted to the same location. Or if we have been in the same location at one time or another, we never met being our husbands are in different units it is very rare to meet wifes/girlfriends outside of your husbands unit. (unless your the playgroup kind of person, which I am not) So yay for Social Media!!

Now on the other end of this awesomeness is some shitness (yes shitness is now a word... I just invented it) unfortunately with the amazing friendships that come with Defence Life and Facebook, there is also the not so amazing people. I am sure most of you have come across it at one point or another. This part is the downside to social media...or really just Facebook. As much as I love it (sshhh don't tell anyone) Things were alot less dramatic without it. I have seen SO much drama in 'support' groups it's not funny. I have been in a few over the years and have witnessed some crazy antics. Mostly I laugh, because really some of these women take life/FB WAY to seriously and complain about the most inane stuff! I have read stuff about people bitching about admins and being removed from groups, yes group's' plural...Then I wonder, well really if you have been removed from multiple groups do you not think that maybe your behaviour is the problem, not the actual admin...LOL seems only natural to me...I have also seen people complain about not only having to deal with having a husband deployed and all the other issues in their lives but also having to deal with all the bitching in FB groups...Um newsflash, no you don't...no one makes you be in FB groups, no one makes you get involved in drama...If you have so much other stuff to deal with in your life, why are you bothering getting involved...get of FB if you find the drama stuff such an issue. It is actually easier to ignore posts/people you don't agree with or are not interested in rather than take the time to comment/post about in a negative way. The irony in this though is they then go to another group and start bitching about other people! And again I sit there thinking seriously!?! Do you not see anything wrong with what you have just done! I can not be the only person seeing this can I???

I think I have said it before that as big as the Defence Force is, it is also just as small, especially on FB.
Check out another awesome Army wife's post on the same topic here. (nb. We are friends, before anyone wants to come up with some insane reasoning behind us both writing about a similar topic...it is just one of those awesome moments between awesome people that we just happen to be thinking along the same lines!)

While sure you may have a couple of people that might comment agreeing with your bitching, there are more than likely alot more that are quietly not agreeing...just because people don't comment or post does not mean they are not there reading.

It really is a shame that certain people can be so darn nasty. Especially those that have this defence life in common. It is completely ok to not agree with other people. Not all people that disagree are being nasty. They just have a difference of opinion. What is so wrong with that. How extremely boring would the world be if everyone agreed about everything all the time! People are either just way to sensitive or just extremely bitter. I believe in Karma. Strongly. So these people that go out of their way to bad mouth others will have their day/s. Others will eventually figure them out and like my friend wrote in her post they are making their own lonely beds to lie in this lifestyle.

The people I find that are the saddest of them all are the bandwagon passengers, these are the people that actually have no idea who it is the nasties are bitching about yet add their 2 cents worth anyways or they do know them by name but have never communicated with the person themselves...sometimes I want to ask why? why are you jumping on this bandwagon when by your comments it is clear you don't even know exactly what it is they are talking about, but I don't really want to get involved, and mostly I don't know either and don't really want to know, so when I see the bitching I sit back in amazement watching it unfold and watching the bandwagon passengers pretty much put a target on themselves, alienating themselves from making new friends with normal people. Sometimes the groups are like a terrible train wreck...you know you shouldn't look but you just can't help watching.

Best advice I have is be careful who it is you are making friends with. My amazing Defence friends that I have met on Facebook are proof that there are some awesome wives out there. But the High School antics in groups also proves that there are also a few not so awesome ones...Luckily they are few, and really if you pay attention, it's not hard to figure out who they are...Just remember that when you jump on the bandwagon of the people that are bitching about others, think about what they are then possibly saying to others about YOU!

Written in the wee hours of this morning, this post was brought you by our friends at James B. Beam Distilling Co. only being published right now due to my still having the sense enough to wait till today to proof read and make sure I didn't get too ranty!.....still not entirely convinced it made much difference though!


Anonymous said...

Interesting Read - I enjoy the bitching and the fights you get to see where peoples passion lay.

look forward to more .....

AussieArmyWife said...

Good job on the awesomeness display! Aren't you glad I'm not a 60yr old axe murderer!

RAW said...

Interesting view on it, I never thought of that before, but definitely agree! What this is mostly directed at is the people that purposefully go out of their way to personally attack others...the general arguements about people disagreeing just makes me laugh at the fact people can be so sensitive about such trivial matters on Facebook of all things ;)

And yes! yes I am glad that you are not a 60yr old axe murderer! Though it is the reason for meeting in a busy coffee shop, just to make sure...